The Calm after the Storm

She'd talked to Val. She'd taken a shower. She'd calmed down to the lyrics of "Never Once did we Ever Walk Alone." Then "Hope, Now." Then she asked God for a specific song from him.

The one that came up was "By Your Side."

So she lay in bed listening to the words - all of which were true.

Why are you striving these days? Why are you trying to earn grace? Why are you crying? Let me lift up your face. Just don't turn away.

And she was indeed crying. Tired. Feeling abandoned.

Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough? To where will you go child? Tell me where will you run? To where will you run?

She had no where to run. But she had no reason to run either. God knew what she needed. He knew the pressure she felt. He knew how this production would turn out.

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall. In the dead of night, whenever you call. And please don't fight these hands that are holding you.
My hands are holding you.

Laying in the dark, in the early hours of the morning, she did call on Him. Maybe she was fretting too much. He just wasn't finished casting yet.

Cause I, I love you. I want you to know that I love you. I'll never let you go.

And so she fell asleep, and despite stressfull dreams about being demanded to perform on the piano at a church, she woke in better spirits. Reading the first and second chapter of "Abba's Child" she was confronted yet again with her "people pleasing" ways.

She didn't have an unruly, rude group of lousy actors.

She had an excited group of people who were enthusiastic about the production and liked each other. She had people donating time, energy and dwindling gas tanks because they had the same passion that she did. The desire to create a story. To see words on a page come alive, take personalities and touch lives. To have a good time building a theater family.

What she liked about many of these people is their openness with each other. They struggled. They had flaws. But she had seen during former plays how they rallied behind each other. They rooted for each other. Sure. The curtains might fall down. The acting might not be blockbuster quality. The set might look a bit goofy. There were wigs slipping and costume malfunctions - but there was a family feeling. People who didn't have a lot of support in their outside lives came to the theater and got several hugs from people they might have only met a few weeks before. Someone who was craving a cigarette and trying to fight it was congratulated for the fight. People who were nervous about learning all their lines, or dancing on the wrong foot were supported and encouraged to hang in there.

That was what theater was really about. When actors had a good time, the audience had a good time. If she could keep that in mind, and let God take care of the details, this play was going to be "A Night to Remember" and six weeks that she would never forget.